Sunday, July 31, 2011

first ramadhan...

I'm wishing all happy and blessed ramadhan al-mubarak....

may all get the benefit of this blessed month...


smile always yuh...

Saturday, July 30, 2011

now its hard...

Hiya, may all in good health.

Every act has its own reason. every reason doesn't have any obligation to be explained. It is enough to be understood.

If you did, the outcome may be different. Give it a time to all, as nothing can be done in an instant.

May all have life full of joy and happiness.


Miss n luv all. keep on smiling yuh!

Friday, July 29, 2011

there are 9 people like me in this world...

hurm...


really?

the 2 n 1 that ....

the 2 n 1 that so selfish,disrespect to others and never think about others feeling...


what kind of life to lead by hurting others.

are you satisfied?

Sunday, July 24, 2011

hatred~

I personally hate my family. They are so selfish,irritating and never think of others feelings.Its killing me inside out...

Thursday, July 21, 2011

abnormal feelings...

I am officially an aunt...to a baby gurl. which i never meet yet...


life....this is abnormality feelings~

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

my wish now is to have the 'happy me life' back..

I view my life from different angle now.

For the past few months,i was in terrible state.scary and horrific...
If you ask me, "how you through that kind of situation?"

I definitely says " I wish I wont, I don't want to go through it again.As matter of fact, its actually twice".

Am scared,anxious and i don't have the confident like i used to have.

I'm much better now.I feel more calm.Even the pains still inside my heart is unbearable i managed to hide it well with a smile on my face.I know i might suffered from "Masked Depression", but what else i can do?the society is not that "open/aware" about this kind of illness.No place to turn to.A very little choice which is already scarce and rare.

To normal or ordinary-life people, this might sounds a bit weird/odd/nonsense.But those who have faced it, it is one of the scariest time in life. People like us felt that it is embarrassing/lost hope/as if you are going to die/want to hurt ourselves/helpless/etc.

If you happens to meet people who suffers the above symptoms or situation,understanding is the best thing you can do. Stop the critiques, stop being sarcastic.Listen and understand, that's all.

The soul is already in a bad shape.The physical is already tired.The mind is already messed up.The least others can do is to listen,understand and give word of hopes/ best wishes/high spirited advises...

Because by doing that, you are actually saving a soul.

DO NOT BE SELFISH. The most important thing a family must never forget. The bond can saves,the love can heals,the care can gives hope and helping hands is needed.

We are all in stress,but we can still manage it.

i wish i can have my "happy-me-life" back...yes my wish!

I pray to Allah everyday that gives us strength,courage and show us the way out from all this.It is a test and i know i am weak.I learn from all these and i pray i'll become a better person in future.

The past will always be history and will never be erased.The future is unpredictable waiting to be explored.The present is now,to hope to live to the fullest doing our best to walk in this world.

To leave something for people to remember who we are in a good way.To put an example so people can learn for what we had.To share the life that someone in this world might be in the same shoes.and hope this might help...

I wish you all the best and greatness in life.Be strong and if possible let "yourself free"...

till then, smile always yuh! tata....

i wonder who is the original poet... as in the drama said PITTE

"When the sunlight touches the ground, I miss you.
When the shadow of moonlight slowly climbs up, I miss you.
When the dust finally settles down, I'd see you.
Meeting in the deep night, I still can see your shadow.
When the waves crash, I hear your voice.
As everyone falls asleep in the midst of quiet forest, I hear your voice.
No matter how far, I'd be by your side.
You'd be by my side, when the sun sets and the stars shine.
Ah,...
if only you're by my side."

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Part 2 - when its unbearable...

Hiya all..

You see, i owe you an apology as it takes me a long time to for the part 2. I'm really sorry, but i'll my best to write a little bit today as i've been extremely tired as if my energy been drained out from my body.I can still feel the pain but what the fish just put a smile on my face and ready to rock and roll (as if i can,imagining it hehe).

The problem about what i've been through now is, i've got nothing or to be precise zero knowledge on this kind of matters.So, when i cant moves my body or do thing that i want to do, am dumbfounded. Although i might know what really happen i might not be able to process it like i normally do.In other words, i can't even explain how i feels and thinks accurately.

Sometimes the pain is unbearable....

If you happens to be in my situation, all you can do is pray/doa non-stop.Just think it as a test from Allah swt and there's always be hikmah behind it.have faith and don't give up.A little effort is enough.As long as you don't give up....

Recite Al-quran regularly and find any doa that can help.seek advices from knowledgeable persons who can help you in this kind of stuff.Don't keep it to yourself (as this is what happened to me i cant even tell someone how i feels due to my logic minded that refuse to believe in this kind of stuffs). At least, find your best friend.the one that you can count on and reliable,i have to say this cause if the person cant understand what you've been through then it will lead to frustrations and helpless.SO please talk to someone that you can trust!!!

Am not going to lie to you that i've been through a moment that i want to hurts myself so badly even 'jisatsu',as if am going to die.I cant move my body and i thought i already lost my mind.my body aching and when i see doctor they only give me the same answer...nothing wrong with me(some doctor even teasing/mocking me)except this one doctor who understand and suggesting an alternative medicines.

You may feels that this is the end of the world for you but believe me insyaAllah we can be well like before if we continue to move on and keep living. Be patient and remember you are not alone,okies~


luv n miss y'all.smile always yuh!