part 1 - the beginning

When it is something never cross your mind before happened, what would you do?

What is "normal" by your own definition?regardless what the world theory claimed and what being printed in books,tell me what is "normal"...

When the self you know is at the stake of "crushing/being destroyed" (what ever you word you want to describe about loosing the "you" you know now) what would do?

Left alone in the sea of people you knew without a helping hands that you can trust, what would do?

A never ending questions that beyond expectation and "norm" came to you all at once. It is not the end of the world but what if the words "is it the end of me" crossed your mind?jisatsu? its not possible and it is scary...

To ALL that questions asked, can someone with a sound mind and logically sane can understand all that?

IF (although i don't really like to use this "IF" word" i have too) there are people can understand this situation (except those who involves and once experienced it) i will freely talk with a straight face all that happened.

The pain is unbearable (some might say owh that is small matter than the more unfortunate souls out there,in war,in corrupted country,etc) and barely hold on and room to breath freely...looking for the truth and strength to walk this life is an everyday battle...

Hoping all can end fast in a blink of eyes is a hope that seems so faraway

But at least, still standing, still fighting, still believe all will end well someday is a must! to win this "war"...

and to be able to say this is a bless...


pray all well and happy always...

rock bottom ...

its been awhile since i posted anything.for the past few months i been through lot of things that i never ever imagine that i someday will going through it. its hard and along the way i almost gave up.yes am only a human being am not superior n i do stumble n chicken n weak.its the most scariest moment i've ever experienced and to tell you the truth i dont want to go through it again.

i questioned myself why all this happened to me....i cant do anything,i felt that my energy been drained out,i didnt have the courage to go out,ignored all calls n people around me n as if like an empty headed dont even know what is going on.in denial state that n i try hard to hide it from everyone...

to that life, i'm beginning to step forward.am beginning to find way to make the first step n live the life that i want n be strong to fight all obstacles lie ahead. to the past that i left i will point it out one by one n i hope it can help others that might face the same thing as me.we live in the society that some moron n idiot envy with others.so, to tell you guys this means to help myself too.

i stand on the point that every end is always a beginning...

i wish all of you a great day n happiness.be strong n its ok if you fell down at the rock bottom.as long as you dont give up and keep on living, insyaAllah everything will be just fine...just remember you are not alone!

lotsa kisses n hugs, smile always yuh :D