to leave the ...

My dream is not to be a super popular rich person...

I just have a very simple dream that it seems like hard to achieved. To lead a zero stressful life that full of love and contented in everything i have and do. Enjoying everything that i've been through...that's all i want.

I know this is the time where am fighting with myself. It is a test, and i admit it to my heart.

Surprisingly now i understand why people hurts themselves and why they jisatsu or even think about it. I understand it now. Even worse when there is no helping hand sincerely reach out for you and hold its tight.

I've been watching online drama/movies/anime for the past few weeks to hides the war i have inside me. I"ve been battling it for sometimes now...It freaks me out when the thoughts to hurts myself crossed my mind. Scared the hell out of me. The pressure that i feels inside is something that i don't understand. I been through alternatives treatment and even spiritual healer, but i think its not enough. I know i should not give up and i have to find any possible ways to cure me in order to get myself back...

I wish someone can understand what i've been through...


luv n miss...